Looking back at past bridges crossed and the people who guided you as you balanced your way across; such as those from student to professional, makes crossing the larger bridges in life seem way more doable.
Friday, October 25, 2013
The Greener Side
Nothing is greener than a NYU new orientee, or rather more specifically #auntynurseD, on first day of RN orientation.
Green from top to bottom, literally; from glasses down to patent Dansko shoes and a mop of curly mess to top it off.
On the walk from the train to the hospital I'm all smiles; this shall become my daily routine, these will be the blocks that will witness my pondering of what a new day will bring and panic about what I may have missed out after long, busy days gone by.
These streets merit being the oaths with which I will walk each day, a slightly better nurse than the previous day.
But after days back in a classroom atmosphere, drenched in the knowledge of RNs wearing green just like me, but years more experienced and knowledgeable than I am; all I wish for is to be the lady in green on the other side of nursing.
The side of knowledge and experience, the side of attained ambidexterity, ease with IV insertions, and speed in accurate documentation; the side of comfort and smooth ability to save lives in any dire situations facing my way.
They say it takes time. Time and experience will be my mode of transportation towards crossing the bridge to the greener side of the nursing profession; the progression from novice to practiced RN. From green to truly green.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
New Beginnings
A friend began the life of a mom the day I initiated the true beginning of my nursing career. Ironically one influenced the other. No, my career start did not influence the birth of any baby.
Visiting her in the same hospital I worked as an extern, the very hospital I failed to apply to because of rumors of a hiring freeze.
While in the facility I popped in to say hi to the sweet folks of my old unit, and learned that the hiring freeze need not apply to former externs.
From there a sequence of events fell into place, an before I could go on a quick vacation and grab even the slightest version of a suntan; I was a wintered, pale faced, new grad dressed in green and sitting in an RN new hire orientation.
That night I came home from visiting the new life my friend began, I wrote an email that would begin a new life of my own.
1 day later; I scheduled and interview.
2 days later, I passed my boards and got my RN.
5 days later, I had a double interview and signed papers for my first job as a RN.
Thoughts of a summer lacking an adventurous vacation or a glowing suntan vanished. A quick tan on my Brooklyn backyard deck would do.
I was just thankful for my stroke of luck, or perhaps for the sequence of events that allowed me to reach that day. My life was slowly settling in, and best of all my "when I graduate list" would soon merit a task complete and worthy of being crossed off.
Sometimes it's a dose of intense motivation, Y-connected to a few doses of genuine prayers to keep God on your side; as well as being at the right place at the right time, whilst meeting and chatting up the right people who will influence the direction of the next few steps in your life.
Friday, October 4, 2013
A Metamorphosis of Dreams
The "When I graduate list" slowly metamorphosed to the "When I pass my boards list", to the "When I get a job list", to the "When I pay off my loans list".
The quote "Man plans and God laughs"; my own plans perhaps served as a source for one of God's many comedy shows. God has been kind; he breached the natural evolutionary phases of my well planned lists and created the "When I get a job list" before the "When I pass my boards list".
From the very beginning of my nursing journey, I realized that my hard work and efforts can become null if I don't go out there, and not be shy of my yearnings, hopes and my dreams. ... And so I became Nurse Devorah to most people I met. It became my grand topic of conversation in those rare social circumstances that I was involved in. To be a nurse was no longer just a career choice, it became my label, it became my name.
God was probably smirking when I took a job as a youth director in a synagogue to make money on the one day I was technically forbidden to work. (Although it was legally ok, because I did not disregard the Sabbath laws during the job). To me it was an opportunity to become part of a community outside my home and nursing community, and to help pay for some living and school expenses; but God had other plans. This job became my second home, my community, and a source that greatly influenced the success of my nursing career.
Whomever I spoke to, I managed to leak into the conversations, little drips of my hopes and dreams for a life dedicated towards nursing. Together with organization on my part for applying for an externship on the day applications opened along with some fabulous networking sources from my new synagogue, I got an externship at NYULMC. That externship allowed the "when I get a job list" to precede the "when I pass my boards list".
As God continued smirking at my not so quiet mouth, and my odd jobs to keep a nursing student going; it was a kind smirk; the type that has something really special in store for someone striving for a dream, the type that shows that someone else runs the world, the type of smirk that reminds to me to be thankful for that which has allowed some of my life's dreams to metamorphose into a scary yet jubilant reality.
As I begin my career in actuality, I feel God, I feel the 'kind' type of smirk; it serves as a reminder that someone else is in control of my efforts of success and my efforts towards saving lives. God isn't a accessory that I put into the pocket of my scrubs each morning and hope it still there at the end of the day, because those often get lost. I feel that smirk with me every time I give a medication and help a patient. My pens and alcohol swabs often fall out of my pocket, but that higher power guiding me each day, keeps my pocket in place, right over my heart.
...So it has all become more than just a dream list. Now it is just about a novice nurse getting through a day by just saving and not killing anyone; something that a silly list for new boots, new makeup, and new bikes have become all but a hopeful bonus.
The quote "Man plans and God laughs"; my own plans perhaps served as a source for one of God's many comedy shows. God has been kind; he breached the natural evolutionary phases of my well planned lists and created the "When I get a job list" before the "When I pass my boards list".
From the very beginning of my nursing journey, I realized that my hard work and efforts can become null if I don't go out there, and not be shy of my yearnings, hopes and my dreams. ... And so I became Nurse Devorah to most people I met. It became my grand topic of conversation in those rare social circumstances that I was involved in. To be a nurse was no longer just a career choice, it became my label, it became my name.
God was probably smirking when I took a job as a youth director in a synagogue to make money on the one day I was technically forbidden to work. (Although it was legally ok, because I did not disregard the Sabbath laws during the job). To me it was an opportunity to become part of a community outside my home and nursing community, and to help pay for some living and school expenses; but God had other plans. This job became my second home, my community, and a source that greatly influenced the success of my nursing career.
Whomever I spoke to, I managed to leak into the conversations, little drips of my hopes and dreams for a life dedicated towards nursing. Together with organization on my part for applying for an externship on the day applications opened along with some fabulous networking sources from my new synagogue, I got an externship at NYULMC. That externship allowed the "when I get a job list" to precede the "when I pass my boards list".
As God continued smirking at my not so quiet mouth, and my odd jobs to keep a nursing student going; it was a kind smirk; the type that has something really special in store for someone striving for a dream, the type that shows that someone else runs the world, the type of smirk that reminds to me to be thankful for that which has allowed some of my life's dreams to metamorphose into a scary yet jubilant reality.
As I begin my career in actuality, I feel God, I feel the 'kind' type of smirk; it serves as a reminder that someone else is in control of my efforts of success and my efforts towards saving lives. God isn't a accessory that I put into the pocket of my scrubs each morning and hope it still there at the end of the day, because those often get lost. I feel that smirk with me every time I give a medication and help a patient. My pens and alcohol swabs often fall out of my pocket, but that higher power guiding me each day, keeps my pocket in place, right over my heart.
...So it has all become more than just a dream list. Now it is just about a novice nurse getting through a day by just saving and not killing anyone; something that a silly list for new boots, new makeup, and new bikes have become all but a hopeful bonus.
When It Was All On A List
The list was created during freshman year, it wasn't a list written on paper, or as a note on my phone; it was a starkly printed bold font, in my head and sporadically on my lips during the occasional chitchat. The title of the list went through an evolution of its own as my life’s milestones progressed. The ‘when I graduate list' emerged in 2010, it was my endpoint, my tightrope walker’s finish line. The list served as an incentive to keep on going even when the shifts were long, and reading assignments incessant, and bank account shallow. The list was my reminder that my wants in life will wait, as I invest in my noble career and my promising future. That list differentiated my wants from my needs, and served as my personal vow towards fulfilling some of my selfish mundane desires in life.
Three years of school meant 3 iphone upgrades, 3 boots seasons, 4 vacation-less school breaks, and and innumerable amount of social opportunities either simplified or simply avoided all due to an unreliable income and textbooks and PowerPoint presentations in dire need of my love, attention and devotion. To many, this might sounds as a sorrowful life for a young gal, but each pair of boots I looked at, imagined myself wearing, but left on the shelf; every phone upgrade I imagined utilizing, every country I dreamed of exploring, and every social experience I longed to participate in but neglected due to the prioritizing of my schooling needing my complete and devoted attention; I chose to see these not as sacrifices, but rather each was a step on that ridiculously long staircase to a life spent toiling with bed pans and syringes all while making a difference in others lives.
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