Victory of the Caring Heart for the Infectious and the Infected .

Nurses; we are always multi tasking. Whether it be physically; charting, whilst on the phone getting new orders verified by the pharmacy, all while noting a patient's heart rate and rhythm on the screen. The multitasking is part of what keeps our adrenalin going, why we so infrequently sit down during shifts. All that multi tasking whirlwinds inside of our heads and inside our entire beings as we go about a day’s work. When caring for patients we are not just looking at a body, at clinical scenario; we are looking at a human being and all aspects affecting that human being both physically, mentally and emotionally. With so much time invested in some of those beings under our care, we often get so involved in the care, which  inevitably requires us to consider our own emotions and opinions as we administer the care.

In my simple novice mind the world of a nurse and a nurse's work is divided in two; one is our physical care, including our medical knowledge, tactile skills, and critical thinking. Second is our emotional feelings regarding our patient's condition, as well as our personal feelings and opinions related to the decisions we make and the decisions made by those under our care.

Within the emotional aspects of nursing are that of caring and of empathy. For many these may be the easiest of our many roles. To care for a young mom going through surgery to remove a tumor from her breasts, or the patriarch of a large family recently diagnosed with a brain tumor, even the lonely middle aged gentleman having a colostomy placed and has not received even one visitor since his admission. One doesn't need nursing school to care and empathize with such individuals, nor is it something that requires a conscience effort. It only requires utilization of our innate abilities to have the heart to care.

Even the occasional homeless man who was rolled in from the Emergency Room reeking  from a combination of stool, sweat and urine, one who even after some extraneous scrubbing still manages to chase his neighbor out of the room due to his incessant spouts of cursing and his unrelenting body odor.

     For someone like the aforementioned homeless man with layers of tart lining his teeth, caring and empathy may be difficult,  yet he is still helpless, and so caring is still somewhat  doable.

I have always found the caring aspect the easiest of all my nursing tasks, even when it took a conscience effort on my part to do so. In the 6 months since I've began my career, this week 02/02/2014 did I really have to somewhat mask my inner feelings and opinions and build a conscience effort towards extending a caring attitude for a patient under my care prior to entering a room.

He was young, promiscuous, admitted to sleeping with more partners in than there are days in the past month. He wasn't compliant with medical recommendations related to his care. He would continuously have trouble breathing,and required my presence at his bedside frequently. Each time I walked in his room, the thought of all those individuals who might have been affected by this infected individual would send my usually achievable caring abilities on a wild goose chase. It was the second time in my nursing career that I needed to exercise the "nurse self focusing" prior to entering a patient's room. Prior to entering his room, my mind was stormed with thoughts of all those who might have been affected by him, and all those other people they will unknowingly infect. 

But how things change...

The above section was written after my first day with this patient.  After spending multiple days at his bedside, as I watched his struggle to breath, as I tirelessly encouraged him to comply with the care, all judgment and the parts of my brain once consumed with thoughts regarding those he unknowingly infected, quickly dissipated as I struggled to maintain the breaths from the battered lungs of this individual. I soon became so consumed with making sure this guy was breathing, that my opinion on what caused his health condition was no longer lingering in my head as I watched his oxygen saturation drop as he continuously coughed and struggled to catch his breath. My views regarding those affected by him were only a flicker in my mind as I called and Medical Response Team on my way off shift one night.  Those judgments and opinions completely disintegrated into my brain matter when I learned that this man was intubated, infected by more diseases than I imagined, and was in an Intensive Care Unit fighting for his life. 

As human beings, we do brainless things, and we often do not think of the consequences; because we are human. We are imperfect humans living in an imperfect world. My care for this helpless individual may have been compromised had I continued to judge him based on his imperfections. He may have physically infected others, but we all infect others as well. Everyday that we go out publicly and breath the air we walk, or speak the words we talk, we are affecting those in our surroundings. Today, I learned that my job is not to judge or blame, but simply to care.  He just as I am is imperfect, and I just as he, deserves to be cared about despite any past errors.Today I came to recognize the power of a heart, how it can simply discard the most logical mind. When you walk into a room, and into a patient's life as he struggles to preserve it before your eyes, the heart will stump and grind any bit of logic, blame or excuses with its pillars of caring and of empathy. At times a mind should rule over the heart, but when it comes to a failing heart, the well heart must step up and be the victor.